1 Down, 2 To Go!

YESSSSS!!!

I talked to my recruiter today, my paperwork is good! I'm going for my physical in Little Rock in a week! Hoo-Rah!

*Sings the Army Girl song*

I'm an Army Girl
in an Army wooorld!
I play with Plastique,
launching heat-seeking
missiles in the air,
destruction everywheeeeere!
Death and mayhem,
orders I obey them!

JOIN THE ARMY IT'S A PARTY
Lock and looooad.
JOIN THE ARMY IT'S A PARTY
MAKIN' STUFF EXPLOOOODE!

*Ahem* Okay that's enough of that nonsense. Okay, so finally the Army accepted my application papers and I'm finally able to go take my physical and psych test to joint he military. I've been losing sleep over this for weeks, you have no idea. The first of three major hurdles on the dawn of my career in the Armed Forces has been cleared, all I have to worry about now is passing MEPS (I forgot what it stands for) and then surviving Basic Training.

I'm going to call my parents tomorrow and tell them the good news! No more of this hotel shit for me, I'm moving up in the world now.

Terrorists beware, you're about to get your asses kicked by a little Pagan girl from Maine!

Sen'Jin Guild Mythic = FAIL

I can't believe I'm about to raise a bitch-fest over a WOW guild, but I am.

Yes, I play WOW. So does my husband. We've been in a variety of guilds on different servers, we've made some good friends, but never enemies... until this.

Basically, My husband (known as Sleepy) and our good friend, Paul (known as Sularis) got kicked out because a certain guild officer and his wife don't know how to handle even the smallest bit of constructive criticism. They even flew off the handle at the mere suggestion that they set up a calendar for scheduling raids.

Apparently, the idea of putting a raid schedule in organized visual format is utterly blasphemous.

So after months of watching this guild fall apart from the sidelines, John and Paul finally had enough of Munkles' shit and told him to pull that splintery stick out of his ass. Munkles, one of the guild officers, apparently has little more to do with his free time than browse rival guild forums looking to see if any members of Mythic have applied to other guilds, then kicking them out.

Cyber-stalker much, Munkles?

Munkles, hmmm, sounds kinda like a rash. "Don't come near me, honey, I've got Munkles! I musta got it from that nice young transvestite meth-dealer down at the end of the block near that highway overpass."

I wonder if I can make Munkles a slang term for Herpes?

Seriously, over a fucking calendar. You losers wonder why you're losing people left and right, your leaders don't know their own asses from holes in the floor, it's just plain to see. Someone who's THAT immature about responding to honest inquiries and suggestions clearly isn't fit to shovel shit from one pile to another, nonetheless run the clubhouse!

Lighten up, guys, it's just a game :-)

Pwning N00bs

I got chewed out at work today for chewing out the new girl.

New people can be difficult, of course I was new at some point, but there are some things you just don't do at ANY place of business. One of those things is knowingly giving a customer some product without collecting payment. Seriously, what were you thinking, little girl? No, holding their drivers' license at the desk is NOT okay if you didn't get any money from them first! It's a place of business! WE DON'T DO CHARITY!

Sure, they came and paid the next morning, but most people just aren't that honest. Would you let a customer leave a store with a cart full of groceries, and then hope and pray they'll come back and pay for it like they promised? We get con-artists all the time looking to take us for a ride, seriously!

Secondly, I don't care who it is. Texting/talking on your cell phone in front of other customers is just flat our rude and unprofessional. It may not be company policy (yet) but that doesn't make it okay. If you've gotta call the boss, try doing it from the office where guests can't see or hear you. No-one likes a distracted person on a cell phone, especially if they work there.

Admittedly, I'm not the boss, and maybe I didn't have to be quite so abrasive looking back on it all, but did I really do anything wrong by expecting someone to have some basic workplace etiquette?

Besides, does the General Manager who's obviously banging the Assistant Manager have any place or any right coming down on ME for 'unprofessional behavior' toward a co-worker?

I rest my case.

I'm so fired.

Army, here I come.

Mamma Mia!

So I took one of my cats, Mia, to the vet yesterday. I caught her trying to pee on my work clothes and then after giving her a quick spank I pulled her over to the litter-box, where I was horrified to discover she was peeing a little bit of blood. Not much, it was rather diluted, but peeing blood is usually not good.

Good news is kitty isn't dying any time soon. Mia does, however, have a urinary tract infection.

So three hours and $50 later our vet prescribes her a bottle of pink liquid she has to 'drink' twice daily to fight off the infection. It smells absolutely vile, the bottle says it's bubble-gum flavored.

Um, what?

I love my cats like they're my kids, but they're NOT my kids, okay? What the hell good is bubble-gum to a cat? Can cats even comprehend taste the same way as a human? So what tastes like candy to us might taste literally like shit to little Mia. And while Mia and her sister, Mayu, go ape-shit for tuna, John and I can't stand so much as the smell of it! How the bloody-grunge-fuck do we know that cats apparently LIKE bubble-gum?

I've tried giving gum to a cat before. They sniff, they give you that hateful but adorable 'bitch, please!' look, and usually walk away disgusted that you dare offer Her Holiness the Queen of Felines anything less than a supple virgin mouse as a sacrifice.

I feel bad enough that I have to hold her little mouth open and stick a dropper down her unwilling throat, now I have to think about what this bittersweet smelling chemical cocktail actually tastes like to her.

I suppose it can't taste as bad as peeing blood feels.

Down the hatch, kitty!

10 Things...

So, Ms. Yancey at Hotel Hot Sheet on occasion reads another blog I subscribe to, Crazy Hotel Workers.

I've been pretty much a regular poster there for almost 3 years now, most of the posts are about co-worker blunders and rude/stupid guests. Ms Yancey is apparrently going to write an article based on what we tell her advising guests what NOT to do when staying at a hotel. Most of the time, these self-proclaimed 'travel experts' actually don't know jack about how hotels really work and will just spout out what they think a hotel should and shouldn't do.

In Ms Yancey's case, however, she's no fool and usually tells it like it is.

So here's MY list of 10 things NOT to do at a hotel:

1. Never ever be rude to the front desk clerk for any reason. I decide where you sleep and if I feel like putting you next to the dumpster where the bums hang out, I will. I don't care how pissed off or 'important' you are, I have your name, address, phone and credit card number. I have the potential to do a lot of dammage to your credit rating, asshole.
2. Never ever be rude to the housekeeper for any reason. It's just a really dumb idea to piss off someone who has access to your personal belongings while you're away. I did housekeeping for 6 years, I've stolen about $2,000 worth of stuff at just one hotel from people who think they're better than me, and I never got caught. "Housekeeping, you need pillow?" Wasn't funny the first 8,000 times I heard it, but hey, thanks for the new watch!
   
3. Turn off your damn cell phone. I hate it when corporate snob types come up to my desk yammering away on a phone while I'm trying to do my job. If you want MY undivided attention, I want YOURS. Or you can just fuck off.
4. Never book a hotel room on the internet. You're getting ripped off in ways you can't even begin to imagine, plus if something goes wrong during your stay and you want a refund you have to kowtow to the company you booked with and not the hotel. Shatner, I love you, but Priceline sucks ass.
5. If something is wrong with the room, anything at all, tell us right away. Too many people wait until it's way too late to tell us about a stopped up toilet or a broken light. As soon as you notice something, tell us! You're not bothering us, it's our job to help our guests, as long as you're honest we don't mind helping you out of a jam. If you wait until Friday to tell me about the toilet that stopped up on Wednesday, I won't apologize and I won't give you any refunds. If it was THAT much of an issue in the first place, you'd have said something right away.
   
6. But on that note, if there is a problem that we CAN'T fix right away, sometimes we just don't have certain options available. If your non-smoking room smells like a biker-bar, in most cases we'll be happy to move you to a different room. But we only have so many of those available, and if we're sold out you're fucked. Sorry, but that's just how it is. I'll give you options, but at that point you can take what I offer or you can leave my hotel.
   
7. Oh yeah, and Sold Out means just that: SOLD OUT. You're not getting a room unless you had a reservation, and if you had a reservation you'll take what I have available and that's that. Don't ask, don't plead, don't beg, you're still not getting a room because I just don't have any available. The Virgin Mary is sleeping under a bridge tonight, pal, I'M SOLD OUT!
8. Please, for the love of Bruce, have a photo-ID handy. Especially if you're paying for your room with cash. And don't get pissy with me when I ask for it, either. I have no way of knowing if you are who you say you are, the ID is for that purpose. Identity theft is so common these days, any little bit we can do to prove we're not making bogus transactions helps keep bill collectors and detectives off our asses.
9. Your kids are your responsibility, period. No, you may not let your spawnlings run around my hotel like animals while you fiddle with your BlackBerry. People pay to sleep here, not be kept awake by your little brats wreaking havoc. Do your job and be a fucking parent already, you assumed all responsibility for that life-form the moment you pushed it out of your snooch. And if my bitching isn't enough to convince you to be responsible for your offspring, a phone call to DHS just might. I've done it before, I can do it again.
10. And finally, but most importantly, no means no. No, I do not have weekly rates. No, we do not have a hot-tub (anymore.) No, sir, you will not be given a refund for the stopped up toilet you waited 3 days to tell us about. No means no means no, end of story. Unless you're my boss, I don't answer to you. I'll do whatever I can to make your stay enjoyable, but within reason. If I'm out of something, unable to do something, or just don't have an option available, then sorry but you're SOL and JWF.
    

Octo-Twat

I am SOOO sick of hearing about this lady.

Like overbreeding isn't enough of a problem already, here comes Nadya Suleman, spawning out offspring left and right with seemingly no regard for her own childrens' wellbeing.

No, this is not a contradiction of terms, allow me to elaborate.

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Children are amazing, but to a point. I get queezy at the idea of having ONE kid, but 8? On top of other kids? But what I find truly bizarre is the fact that Nadya has so far refused every charity that has contacted her offering her aide. A single mother with no means of her own actively refused help from several charities to take care of her own children.

Seriously, lady, are you insane or just fucking stupid?

This makes me mad for a couple of reasons. One, on top of the fact that being a single parent can't be easy in of itself, think of the neglect and loneliness that awaits these poor kids. Each one of them competing for Mommy's attention, meanwhile she'll no doubt be getting herself knocked up again to have MORE kids she can flaunt about and ignore. Only one parent to 10, 14, maybe 20 or more kids in the future, SOMEONE is going to get left out!

Two, it really burns my ass when parents come to my hotel and let their kids run amok without any thought as to where they are or what they're doing. And then when I step in and tell the kid to chill out and go find Mommy, Mommy has the audacity to get pissed off at me for doing her job for her. Fortunately, here in the state of Arkansas, I have the right to call DHS if she continues to abandon her spawn in my lobby. I can only begin to imagine the horror of a single mother with an unending trail of young-uns trying to keep track of what they're doing and where! If in the off chance she abandons the horde in MY lobby, I'm making a phone call.

Third, and this is why I seriously want to have a word with Madame Suleman, she has no fucking concept of basic biology and thinks cells are little people. Yes, I'm pro-choice, I'm also an adopted child grown up. On a recent TV interview, she said she would never ever consider donating her fertilized eggs to another couple no matter how badly they wanted to have a child because "No one is capable of loving my kids as much as I DO!"
Lady, no one was capable of loving me as much as MY biological mother did, but that love didn't have jack and or shit to do with the fact that she just didn't have the resources to raise me herself. If anything, it would seem to me that a greater act of love for your offspring would be to give them to capable hands when you just don't have the means yourself. I'm the living end result of an extra-marital affair, my mother's immediate family thought I was a living punishment for a sin she committed quite accidentally: He lied to her, she paid the price. She loved me enough to find me a decent home.
And if I found myself in her shoes, I'd likely do the exact same thing. Fortunately, I use birth control, an IUD to be specific. Best $600 I ever spent and I'm child-free for 10 years!
And no, Nadya, an egg in a petri-dish is NOT a human being. When I see an ultrasound of a fetus typing on a computer or painting a portrait as real people do, I might change my mind. But as it stands, a clump of cells cannot hold a job or a conversation or even a thought, thus, it is not a human being.

Contrary to what the pro-lifers will tell you, 'life' does not begin at conception. The human body is thoroughly capable of flushing out a fertilized egg completely on it's own, even if you're not using contraception. The older you are, for some still unknown reason, the more likely you are to flush out an egg. If human life begins at conception, then I'm committing infanticide every time I have sex with my husband, which is on a pretty regular basis. Sound fucked up? It is, and it's completely true. Baby-killing has never been so much fun :-)

We spay and neuter our pets, I think now it's high time we start spaying irresponsible people like Nadya Suleman.

What it is, muthafukkas!

Wow, blog post numero uno!

Like I don't have enough blogs going on at the same time already (livejournal, myspace, facebook, the like...)

What can I say, I'm an obsessive internet junkie? Gotta vent my frustration at the world somehow, might as well be this.

Glad you could all join me :-)

Well, what are the basics of this blog? What are the essentials, here? What exactly IS this about?

* I'm married to a very talented photographer who underestimates himself and his abilities. But I love the everliving Hell out of him.
* I've been spending the last 4 months trying to get into the Army. Why in fuck would I do that? What better way to work out my aggressive nature by getting paid for it? That, and I'm bored of this hotel job.
* I stole my user-name from an old friend in college (his name was Roger) who turned out to be a false friend. Okay, partially my fault for trying a little too hard to get into his trousers, but he was still a douche for telling people I was stalking him at his job when I was actually on vacation in Europe. Fuck you, Roger.
* I have anger issues and I can hold a grudge forever, you might have noticed.
* I'm Wiccan, but I don't believe in God. How can any all-powerful all-knowing deity exist and allow so much horror to happen in the world? Manifest from within, you and you alone have the power to make shit happen.
* I bitch about my job a lot, mostly the stupid people I have to deal with on a daily basis. At least in the Army, the stupid people die.

Okay, that's it for now, I have to get ready to go to work soon. I'm training a new girl at the front desk.

I'll be back later, kids :-)